Honesty

I think honesty is important.

So, I'm at a show last night. The band is some of my friends playing their first show, so despite wishing I was at any of 3 different awesome shows going on, I was there for support. I meet a seemingly sweet girl named Elice, and we start talking about music. This is where things go wrong.

Me: "So what kind of music are you into?"

Elice frowns

Me: "I guess... what's really doing it for you lately? What did you listen to on the way here?"

Elice: "The Be Good Tanyas"

Me: "Oh yeah. They've got that song about birds."

Elice: "Right. 'The Littlest Birds Sing The Prettiest Songs'."

Me: "Yeah, that's it. I really hate that song, and I guess I sort of hate them because of that song. No offense or anything. So, what else are you into?"

Elice: "Feist."

Me: "Hmm. I've actually seen Feist twice, and I left before the end of both shows. She's just really boring, I think."

Elice: "Oh, weird. Um, I like to play Jewel songs on guitar."

Okay, you get the point.

I bought another round of drinks.

I kissed her twice, totaling maybe 12 seconds. She left early, and I took the night bus home alone.

She plays Jewel songs on guitar.

I will move my legs, but that's about it

I go to a lot of shows. One thing that I really hate seeing onstage is when bands try to make the audience do shit for them. For any band members reading this, I will tell you right now, if you want me to clap for 30 seconds in some kind of intricate audience rhythm section, you're out of luck. Fuck doing shit for bands!

I'm not gonna sing your fucking chorus for you. That's why I paid money to see YOU!

I'm not gonna "make some fuckin' noise"... if I'm compelled to make noise, I will, but I don't follow commands, dick.

And have you ever been to a show where they make you do something really fucking stupid? "snap your fingers for this part".... NO! I think Feist did that once. Leslie Feist seems even more bored with her own music than I am, and that's saying a lot.

Here is what I will do: I will shake my right leg. When my right leg gets tired, I will switch to the left leg. If you've really got your shit together, I might glance over at my friend and mouth the word "whoa". Asking for anything more is deserving of having change thrown at you. Ask Datarock. Though they weren't really demanding, they just sucked enough to deserve having change thrown at them.